I hate this tears in my eyes. I hate the way i feel about you. I hate love.
Well.............things might not come as easy as you thought it would be. There are storms. There are rains indeed. Day by day, all you need to do is just holding onto the things you love. Why? Cause by loving it you'll get yourself stronger and you'll be happy just by doing it. Happy cause you've tried your best to reach where you're going to be later. Happy cause no regrets. Even if the result's not gonna be as you wish but....in the end, you're gonna see yourself in the mirror and say, "it's okay, you're strong."
She knew another things. But different case...she should knew it this time. They hung out for the first time after they became a little bit closer as friends. Yup. They were not really close for him. They were just friends....for him. There was still no butterflies flying in his stomach. There was still no goosebumps he felt for her. Cause they just got to know each other for like weeks. She understood. She knew it would be like that. She never expected anything more than just a friend. 좋아해. She knew it. Being solo was nice maybe. Yes. She didn't know what she should do beside keeping her eye only for him. Looking after him. Taking care of him. Smiling because of his weird jokes. Listening to his voice.....all silently without anyone knowing. It wasn't that bad. She had done it before. This wasn't the first time she did this. This wasn't the first time she cried for him. Maybe now he couldn't see her as a lady, or he never would. She would always be there standing beside him...not gonna do anything but just stay beside him until she felt really tired doing that even if he would never see her as a lady but only a friend of him. It was fine. It was better than be treated like a stranger. Hardly, he treated her like a stranger.......a new stranger of him. As she said yesterday, she was the one who thought she was there in his life. She was the one who thought she had a space in his life. Truthfully, no......no. She was a babo. She was stupid. She knew it already. But she wanted to keep fighting for him. She wanted to keep standing beside him. But until when? Until he seriously hit her in the face and make a fun of her by saying "i don't want you." "I never wanna see you." "I don't have any kind of goosebumps when i met you." and "goodbye." That was gonna be the day she gave her world up. Give up. Stupid moron dumbass. She was scared honestly but she couldn't do anything. She didn't know what exactly things that she needed to do. She hurt herself more....everyday. It was fine. She cried more and more everyday. No one could help. Thanks for letting her feel this kind of feeling. This wasn't pain. This was happiness for her. It was okay.
Loving can hurt so bad. But knowing the truth about some things you should't know might hurt more. So be prepared and be ready!
