A Love So Beautiful
致我们单纯的小美好
Jiang Chen ☓ Chen Xiao Xi
As a kid growing up, I always believed I can be alone. When I was young, my father passed away. My mother chose to work in other places with my younger brother, not me. So I didn't care about anyone's company. Everyone will leave me anyway. But, Xiao Xi was the unique one for me. She's always being here and there with me. I slowly found out that I couldn't bear to see whether she followed me secretly on my way to school. I couldn't bear to draw the curtain aside to see what she was doing when I was home. When I was doing my homework, I'd think she might cry with such a difficult problem. I kept on thinking that she would come with me when I left, because she used to be like that. But this time, she didn't. I didn’t know what to do. Actually, I came back later to find her, but I found out her with you. I thought maybe she finally found out that I wasn't as perfect as she imagined, and I was not the most suitable person for her. So, the only way for me was to console myself, that she was so clumsy, noisy, and ate too much, that I'll be better without her. But, I finally realized that I can't convince myself by it. I want to hear her voice. I want to have dinner with her. I want her love, forever and always. Actually, I can change all whatever she dislikes, but I don't even know what she loved about me.
Why do you always forget that I love you so much, so even if many girls are taller, slimmer, prettier, softer, and more sensible than you, it's not my business. Thank you, Xiao Xi. You've made me find the love that most people can't.
Sometimes I just wonder if I've done some evil things in my last lifetime. My doomed love with her must have started then. She doesn't understand my words. I can't figure it out either. Her legs are so short, but how can she run so fast when chasing me? Then, I often tried to walk faster to see whether she could catch up with me. I didn't expect that she could really catch up with me. Then I began to wait for her, and observe her involuntarily. Then, I found that she's just a big trouble. She made trouble all day. I always had to deal with the aftermath for her. I wrote my first review to save her, but I feel that she really did better than me in writing reviews. In order to get the activity fee back for her, I helped the teacher copy a report. I copied it on class and even after class. I didn't even know what the lesson was about that day. But sometimes, she's really unworthy of sympathy. Silly girl. Yes, I started to become jealous. Later I heard that she'd transfer to another school. I couldn't sleep all night. I was suddenly afraid that she would really go. So, I had to choose to forgive her unilaterally. I tried not to let her make trouble in other schools. I began to realize that she was actually quiet lovely, gradually. I couldn't help smiling at the thought of her. Sometimes I couldn't help but look out for her. Sometimes I can't help but to bully her. But, every time I tried to do something for her, she always made me very angry. I voted for another person during the class monitor election. Why did she run around with another person on the playground? I was annoyed at the sight of it. I didn't realize that I've fallen in love with her since then. She cried miserably that day. I suddenly felt that I shouldn't make her cry so miserably in the future, but I didn't seem to make it. It seemed that we were often on different modes. At that time, I thought she was just grouchy, that it would be okay after she calmed down. Then, I realized that I thought too easily. The three years in Xiehe Hospital seemed to pass in a short time. But, I only knew myself. I felt like I was wearing a sweater backwards every day. I felt very uncomfortable. It felt very hard to breathe. So, I must find her back again whoever is with her. I know I'm selfish, but she is so nice. She could not only tolerate my coldness, strangeness, and inflexibility, but she also enjoyed it. Such existence is a role set for me in the game, or she is insane. And I'm really lucky to have this insane girl again. Xiao Xi, I appreciate it so much that you can come back, and we can go back.
Why do you always forget that I love you so much, so even if many girls are taller, slimmer, prettier, softer, and more sensible than you, it's not my business. Thank you, Xiao Xi. You've made me find the love that most people can't.
Sometimes I just wonder if I've done some evil things in my last lifetime. My doomed love with her must have started then. She doesn't understand my words. I can't figure it out either. Her legs are so short, but how can she run so fast when chasing me? Then, I often tried to walk faster to see whether she could catch up with me. I didn't expect that she could really catch up with me. Then I began to wait for her, and observe her involuntarily. Then, I found that she's just a big trouble. She made trouble all day. I always had to deal with the aftermath for her. I wrote my first review to save her, but I feel that she really did better than me in writing reviews. In order to get the activity fee back for her, I helped the teacher copy a report. I copied it on class and even after class. I didn't even know what the lesson was about that day. But sometimes, she's really unworthy of sympathy. Silly girl. Yes, I started to become jealous. Later I heard that she'd transfer to another school. I couldn't sleep all night. I was suddenly afraid that she would really go. So, I had to choose to forgive her unilaterally. I tried not to let her make trouble in other schools. I began to realize that she was actually quiet lovely, gradually. I couldn't help smiling at the thought of her. Sometimes I couldn't help but look out for her. Sometimes I can't help but to bully her. But, every time I tried to do something for her, she always made me very angry. I voted for another person during the class monitor election. Why did she run around with another person on the playground? I was annoyed at the sight of it. I didn't realize that I've fallen in love with her since then. She cried miserably that day. I suddenly felt that I shouldn't make her cry so miserably in the future, but I didn't seem to make it. It seemed that we were often on different modes. At that time, I thought she was just grouchy, that it would be okay after she calmed down. Then, I realized that I thought too easily. The three years in Xiehe Hospital seemed to pass in a short time. But, I only knew myself. I felt like I was wearing a sweater backwards every day. I felt very uncomfortable. It felt very hard to breathe. So, I must find her back again whoever is with her. I know I'm selfish, but she is so nice. She could not only tolerate my coldness, strangeness, and inflexibility, but she also enjoyed it. Such existence is a role set for me in the game, or she is insane. And I'm really lucky to have this insane girl again. Xiao Xi, I appreciate it so much that you can come back, and we can go back.
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